There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
