I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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