i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
