My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
