i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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