I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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