p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Randomize
