NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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