Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
