I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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