I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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