For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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