If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
