Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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