Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.

Fav 5 1975 3285
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(214): View more from Texas

did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.

Fav 1 1124 1142
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?

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(408): View more from California

Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something

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(973): View more from New Jersey

You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?

Fav 18 6574 1379
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(561): View more from Florida

She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again

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(931): View more from Tennessee

i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn

Fav 10 867 1953
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(740): View more from Ohio

I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.

Fav 5 1088 665
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Have you considered murder?

(757): View more from Virginia

Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy

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