I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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