I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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