Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
