the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
