Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
