Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
