brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
