i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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