dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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