My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
