Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
