doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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