I just cut my nipple shaving
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize