I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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