I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
