There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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