I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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