I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
