How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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