AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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