I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
