FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
