You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
