Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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