Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
