i may or may not be watching the land before time
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize