I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
