guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
