So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize