i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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