I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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