More tranny stories later!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
