u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
