I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
