worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
