I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
