You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
