You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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