i barfeds in our rink
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
