I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
