so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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