I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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