4 words: hood of his car
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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